This is another interesting article from the TJC foreign correspondent Janet C. Phelan
Okay, we now know that our phone calls are being monitored. Snowden
has made it clear that none of our electronically conveyed communications are
secure from NSA snooping. But to find that they are now listening to our potato
chips?
As
revealed recently in an article in MIT News, technology has been developed which would allow our
relentlessly nosy government to pick up voice prints from a bag of potato chips,
a glass of water, a window or potted plant.
This is how it works:
The tiny vibration of
objects as a result of a nearby conversation can now be picked up by a camera
and the conversation reconstructed, due to an algorithm developed by researchers
at MIT, Microsoft and Adobe. In a statement by the first author of the MIT
paper, Abe Davis wrote: “When sound hits an object, it causes the object to
vibrate. The motion of this vibration creates a very subtle visual signal that’s
usually invisible to the naked eye. People didn't realize that this information
was there.”
Armed with the perception that
the US government has developed other intrusive technologies, I conducted a
search for prevailing spyware. We already know that our buttons can be replaced
with microphones, that our passports are chipped and can GPS us at
any given latitude, that our smart phones can, in concert with google
maps, betray our movements down to a precise address. We know that there is technology under development
which may one day lay bare even our most secret thoughts.
But spying on potato
chips?
A search for NSA patents reveals a wide spread of mechanisms to
track, locate, amplify and analyze our most microscopic of behaviors. We should
therefore not be surprised to learn that back in 1982, the NSA sought to patent
a method for secure voice conferencing. That’s right—the NSA has
secured their conference calls from outside intruders and hacks, while ours, we
find, are wide open.
At a time when many are
concerned that their offices or homes might be bugged, we might note that the
NSA developed a proprietary method to locate a transmitter.
Hey, bro! Wanna share?
No?….well, I thought maybe not…
And while we mere mortals must
content ourselves with shredding our documents in hope of maintaining security,
we should know that the NSA has gone a step further and patented a shredder
residue dispersion system.
A reusable tamper evident
envelope would be useful for those who resort to snail mail as a
non-electronically surveilled means of communication, which is returning to
favor by those wishing to escape the 20/20 vision of Big Brother. Unfortunately,
this has been patented by the NSA and is—once again—not on the market for the plebes.
A self-authenticating cryptographic apparatus might come in handy for
those trying to communicate in a personal, private manner. You remember—that archaic old Fourth Amendment which promised us
security in our papers? If it is any consolation, Big Brother Loves You, and his
peculiarly insistent nosiness is entirely benign. Right, Winston Smith?
This is just the outer layer
of the NSA patents, however. The patents reveal a level of voodoo science which
is admittedly beyond the ken of this reporter. Methods for turning walls into
mirrors, a space integrating ambiguity processor, measure of ramen gain
spectrum in optical fiber, a method of measuring gain of photonic inverters, a
biomimetic voice identifier and an infinite impulse response resonator digital
filter left me scratching my head, baffled.
But I found one patent that
completely lifted my spirits. Should one be worried that the NSA is only trying
to peer into your private life, it should come as a relief to know that the NSA
also patented an integrated child seat for a vehicle. At a time when paranoia
about NSA spying has become a common malaise, it is good to know that they are
actually doing some useful and helpful research.
I didn't check to see if there
was a microphone implanted in the seat, however….
Janet C. Phelan, investigative
journalist and human rights defender that has traveled pretty extensively over
the Asian region, an author of a tell-all book EXILE, exclusively for the online magazine “New Eastern
Outlook”.
